I’ve noticed since I became a mom – since I announced my pregnancy in fact – that people started treating me with less respect than I had become used to. I was forced out of my job due to my pregnancy, friends told me to have an abortion when I cheerfully announced my pregnancy to them (which is why I stopped telling people I was pregnant until the baby was born), when I was hugely pregnant people would not offer their seat on the bus or train (and let me tell you, when you no longer have any strength in your abs standing up on a bus or train is crazy dangerous), other tenants in my building blame me and baby for everything (the utility bills being high, the trash can being full, anytime anyone uses the washing machine – they assume it is my fault and they harass me for it. It’s totally nuts in this building). Then yesterday the landlord came into my apartment without notifying me ahead of time. I realized it when I got home later and things were moved. Including? My journal.
I was absolutely furious. Have you ever tried taking care of a baby when you are that mad? It’s not a pretty picture. Even after filing a police report I’m just left feeling so henpecked by all of these experiences. It has been kind of awful. If only I could just get a break from these shameless people. I wonder if times are changing toward this kind of attitude or if they have always been this way. It’s just hard to be cheerful and perky after all of the above. Some good friends boost my faith in humanity but it often feels like a wash at the end of the day with others around me crumbling my faith.
I’m trying to keep my head up and I’m making new friends – consciously and carefully trying to rebuild a community. Hopefully doing it better this time. It sometimes feels hard to make friends when I feel so rubbed raw by all of the experiences I mentioned – it’s hard to relax and feel like myself. I’ve also been looking for a new place to live for a while now. It is not a renters market in my area these days though. Any other moms out there ever feel henpecked, like a second class citizen or like you are forever last in line? Is this a single mom thing? Or do I just have incredibly bad luck right now? I feel like I go off on these rants a lot. But it just seems like another silly thing keeps happening right after the last silly thing.