Nurture and build vs. Mommy wars

“Be the one who nurtures and builds. Be the one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart one who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them.” – Marvin J. Ashton (found on a beautiful single mom blog here)

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I add to people’s lives and what they add to mine. I think about this with the family that I swap childcare with once per week. Taking care of someone else’s baby and having them take care of yours is both an honor and a responsibility and such an exercise of trust and letting go. I think about this when I care for this other mother’s child to my highest standard. I think in a relationship like this – we [both of us moms] really add something special to each other’s lives. I think we leave each other better than we found each other.


Then there are the super weirdo, bizarre mommy war moments that certainly don’t make anyone’s life better. And I think: what the hell is this about? I’ve said it here before – I really don’t care how other people parent their kids. Not breastfeediPollyanna2-242x300ng/breastfeeding until age 7? Vegan/carnivorous? Vaccinating/not vaccinating? Cool! Do your thing! Because we are all trying to do the same thing right? Raise really wonderful people. Kind and brave. Strong and gentle. Smart and resourceful. So, not to be a total Pollyanna but I’m continually shocked when other parents force their stuff onto me. I’m like: hey I was just sitting here in the sun trying to take a deep breath. UGH. I had such a weird experience on the playground yesterday that I don’t even know how to explain it yet. It was intense. But good gawd – did I walk away from that playground feeling pretttty crappy. Not the first time and I’m sure not the last and I can brush it off like the best of them.


Then I came home and read this AWESOME post. Check it out and let me know what you think. Does it make you think twice about how you participate [or not] in “mommy wars” and click bait? Her point about “divide and conquer” really drove it home to me. What do you think?


I know I will see this woman on the playground again. You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to talk to her about all this. I’ll let you know how it goes!

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