“I’ve seen women insist on cleaning everything in the house before they could sit down to write… and you know it’s a funny thing about housecleaning… it never comes to an end. Perfect way to stop a woman. A woman must be careful to not allow over-responsibility (or over-respectability) to steal her necessary creative rests, riffs, and raptures. She simply must put her foot down and say no to half of what she believes she “should” be doing. Art is not meant to be created in stolen moments only.” (from Women Who Run With Wolves)
I know a woman who used to organize mom’s groups. The group would rotate through meeting at the homes of each of the participants. With each new group the organizer would always volunteer her home to be the site of the first meeting. She told me she would very purposefully stifle her urge to frenetically try to straighten everything up and hide the messes so that all of the new moms could see that things being messy was normal – and that the tone was set that they weren’t there to impress each other on the surface but to truly connect. To see and be there for each other. She said it never failed – it was always the best icebreaker with the women chiming in at how relieved they were that they knew they wouldn’t have to shine and polish their homes for each other. How great is that? For being real with each other and for letting our priorities be very visible? I dig it. And I wish her mom’s groups were still going!
Check out Women Who Run With the Wolves. You can read it instead of cleaning your house.