BIG READ, little read.

how to raise an adult overparentingI just read How to Raise an Adult, and I have to admit that sometimes I’m guilty of the “overparenting” the author describes. It’s hard not to I guess, in these times of no more “village” it’s easy to pour your whole brain into this elaborate DIY project called raising a child. There are so many parenting decisions that I’ve done hours and hours of research on. Crowd-sourcing and literature reviewing myself into a guarantee I will raise a kind, brave, aware, generous, unselfish and resourceful person. And being a single parent, developing that strategy is mine alone. The most do-it-yourself way a person can parent. So, this book kind of helped me see where I can take a load off. I can pull back and my child will be ok. Maybe even better off. Also, as a single parent there are already a LOT of times that I can’t pour my heart and soul into every decision and every moment. This book made me feel a hell of a lot better about that. After reading this book I can say I no longer care about being deemed a “good” mother. I just want to be an actual person. Motherhood isn’t the totality of my identity and that is important for my kid and for me to remember. This book is good. Highly recommended!

Suffering through some tantrums at your house? We sure as heck have! Baby’s first year was hard. The lack of sleep in the very anger and mindfulnessbeginning, mastering breastfeeding, the decision fatigue (see above), the total dependency, the baby-proofing and associated mishaps – sheer physical and mental exhaustion. The second year? Oh mercy. That was hard for me. The slow switch to independence, days of frustration, tantrums. Oh tantrums. I wish we had found the book Anh’s Anger earlier. It’s about a kid who gets really mad and he learns how to handle it. I can’t tell you how many times mentioning Anh and his anger has diffused a tantrum in the weeks since we discovered the book. It’s been a game changer for us and one that I’d recommend to anyone going through that particular storm.

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