WTH

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So. I threw my neck out this morning. While washing my face. Enter so many swear words here. More swear words. More swear words. This means driving to preschool was a bit silly. And I couldn’t go see my postpartum client today. Such a bummer to disappoint a new mom in a time of need. And such a bummer to know that calling off work one day will make paying my bills at the end of the month a much deeper pinch. Ugh, single motherhood and self-employment…they go so well together most of the time. Just not today.

One of my favorite bloggers posted this link today. Strangely perfect timing. It is SO hard to take care of ourselves as parents at the same time as we take care of everyone and everything else. I don’t know for sure if it’s true because I haven’t lived life as a partnered parent, but all the research seems to point to being a single parent makes self-care an even more distant possibility.

I want to have something here for you today. Like how to take care of the business of work, home or child when you can’t move your neck. Or how to prevent this from happening in the first place (don’t wash your face?) But I’m kind of empty handed here. More mindfulness, more glasses of water, more breaks, more friends… Yeah that probably helps – but here I am stuck in bed. Counting my blessings that I can do so because my toddler is living it up at preschool for a few hours. Resting up for the rest of my life’s work today.

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5 thoughts on “WTH

  1. Ugh. I just can’t. See? Those blessings. Certainly, without a doubt, the partner, of course. But the workplace with a great team, an understanding boss, and a baller benefits package. Ugh. I’m so sorry you have this stress.

    I wish I had take-aways for people, too. Even with the security I have, I do almost nothing for myself. There isn’t a true excuse, it’s just that it’s really hard to work ME into my life. How did that become A Thing? I think I have a lot to learn from my toddler. Toddlers live in a world that revolves around them (they can be very thoughtful, don’t get me wrong, but it’s different). AND IT SHOULD. There should always be a big piece of your personal world that revolves around you. I feel really strongly pulled to explore all of this further. It’s bothering me.

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    • I’m with you. I wasn’t all about ME even before I had a kid so the idea is really foreign. But why? When I see friends who seem to be completely comfortable taking care of themselves I’m kind of in awe. Having a kid has brought the world “no” way more to the front of my vocabulary. But I’m saying no to favors/helping hands/extra work for other people. The question of putting extra “work” into myself just never even gets asked. Because I don’t think to ask it. For me, right now, it all circles back to the money/time conundrum. I see a better financial future and I hope to use part of that to refuel my soul’s batteries: a couple hours of babysitting here and there, a yoga class, a massage…? A happy mom = a happy baby, right?

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      • Happy Beck = happy every part of Beck. I am a firm believer that being a good Kim makes me a better mom/wife/employee/friend/everything. And I love the word “no.” I love being able to say that and learning that I don’t have to follow it up with an excuse and that the people who truly matter actually prefer “I’m really just feeling too a-social to deal with anything more today” than “I’m busy, sorry.” I love discovering people I want to have in my life, not people who I feel I should have, for whatever reason (however shitty that actually reads – I have the Black Plague and I’m tired and disgruntled. I don’t have much room left for tact today).

        I need to backread your blog. I really enjoy your blog. I NEED TO MAKE MORE TIME FOR THINGS.

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  2. Not taking care of myself landed me taking a 6 week mental health leave from work. Now I *know* self-care cannot be ignored! Not easy to practice but it’s absolutely vital.

    How’s your neck feeling today? I hope you are feeling better!

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    • It’s really not easy. Sounds so easy, right? I’m working so hard on it.

      My neck is a bit better. In an ideal world I’d be resting at least another day or two but….alas. Mama’s got to pay the bills!

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