Am I the only one who buckles her kid in the car for the morning drive to preschool, walks around the car and by the time I get to the driver side door I’m thinking…Wait. I’m a mom?! Doing mom things?! Taking my kid to preschool? Whaaaa?! How did this happen?
I feel like I’m playing grown-up sometimes.
I’m not sure if this is normal or if it is part and parcel of the unusual circumstances my baby and I have both made our way through to be standing here right now. It has not been easy. There have been times with not a single extra drop of air to breathe. It has been unrelentingly fast and furious. The joyous moments are so very there but they often get pushed to the side almost immediately by our particular brand of trials and tribulations in our lives in this single parent family.
As I made my way around the car today, got in, sat down and jabbed the key into the ignition all purely on muscle memory – I decided I didn’t want to feel so shocked anymore. I don’t want to be shocked by the messy house and by how hard it is to get a toddler full on breakfast and out the door on time. I don’t want to be shocked that I seem like a seasoned mom to the new moms I work for/with. I don’t want to be shocked that there seems to be so little extra time. Or that I’m tired upon waking in the morning. Or hanging my head in defeat at the end of some days. My life has all led up to this. I want to revel in it. I’m doing this. It’s my life. And it’s a good one.